Earth Girls are Easy
by The Flying Pen
Summary: V/B - What’s a Prince to do when he’s caught the eye of his sexy, ingenious, determined housemate? And how far will Bulma go to get the Saiyan Sovereign of her dreams into her bed?
1. Establishing the Prey

Author's Notes: OK, OK.  I know I have to re-post "Cruel Fate?" and all that, but I needed a change.  I needed normalcy for a few seconds, or, er…stories.  I need to see if you guys even like where this story is going before I waste more time on it!!!  ^_^  It shouldn't be NEAR as long as CF?, so don't worry.  I'm definitely not going for an epic here…  

Disclaimer:  This will NOT appear on every chapter, so just take it and multiply by every chapter I post:  I do NOT own Dragonball Z, its characters, its plots, its themes, its anything.  I only own the DVDs.  Oh, and I did take the name from that movie, "Earth Girls are Easy", meaning I don't own that either.  Kapeesh?

Title:  Earth Girls are Easy

Chapter:  1 – Establishing the Prey

Rating:  R – use of curse words and sexual situations…not on an NC-17 level, I learned my lesson. *glares at Administration*

Description:  What's a Prince to do when he's caught the eye of his sexy, ingenious, _determined_ housemate?  And how far will Bulma go to get the Saiyan Sovereign in her dreams into her bed?  

Chapter 1 – Establishing the Prey

Blue eyes guarded by sunglasses gazed over the top of some forgotten novel, pages not having been turned for the last five minutes.  The eyes stared straight ahead and through the dark frames of the glasses resting on her nose, right into a rosy opaque bubble of a window, and directly onto the occupant therein.

Reaching up to brush a stray aqua strand of hair out of her eyesight as a distraction, the woman nonchalantly pressed a button on the edge of her glasses at the same time.  Unknown to anyone who might have been watching her, images flashed across the inside of the lenses.  Holding the button down, the glasses became her very own set of binoculars, zooming into the window so she could get an even better view of the building's occupant.  

The man was inside, working out, as usual.  But now he was engaged in Bulma's most _favorite _exercise.  In fact, she had made it a daily ritual to be out in the yard, attending to some matter of business, always armed with her trusty "sunglasses" just at this time.  Today she was sunbathing, in a barely-there midnight blue bikini, having unwittingly bought the same color the man she was spying on wore all the time.

Well, she shouldn't say man.  More like alien.

More like hot, sexy alien that made her mouth water and her belly heat up every damn time he waltzed around her half naked, and caused even more drastic reactions in her when she got to spy on him.  Especially now, when he was doing his push ups.  She groaned and sat up on order to watch him better.

And watch him she did, his face concentrated on such an age-old art of muscle upgrading, great for his arms, and good for _her _soul.  She would watch him as he moved, unaware of his observer, almost in slow motion as he strained against the extra gravity she had put on him herself in the chamber, moving up and down…up and down…sweat dripping from his forehead…to his nose…and then down onto her, as she writhed beneath his movements and wrapped her arms---

"Bulma?"

Bulma flew out of her lawn chair, book flying, eyes wide, and head whirling around to the voice behind her.  

"Y-Yamcha?" She questioned, looking at her boyfriend.  He stood there, one eyebrow quirked.  What was up with her?  Why was she so jumpity?

Bulma frowned.  That idiot!  Now was her time to watch Vegeta and imagine him in wonderfully fantastical positions, all with her incorporated into equally fantastical positions alongside of him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, scaring me like that?  I almost pissed myself, you jerk!!"  She screamed, standing up and marching over to him, grabbing her towel on the way.  Deftly she covered up, not even bothering to think why it would matter if her own boyfriend saw her in such a skimpy outfit.  He'd seen her in less…but still.  That wasn't the point.

"I'm sorry Bulma!  I just wanted to say…" he paused, and looked at the ground.  "I just wanted to tell you I can't make it to dinner tonight."  He never looked up, knowing he would be getting the thrashing of his lifetime in just a few minutes.  She'd always been beyond angry when he cancelled their plans, but it hadn't ever been this bad.  

It all started when Bulma had asked Vegeta to stay at her house.  Yamcha couldn't help thinking that it was because she thought the short alien was hot (which he'd _never_ understand) and then it didn't help when he proceeded not being able to stop himself from attaching to anything in a skirt…until one of those skirt's belonged to one of Bulma's employees and she'd caught them…

It had been at least a month before she'd even talked with him again!  And finally she'd accepted his offer to eat with him tonight, but here he was changing their plans…sometimes he was more scared of Bulma than…well, than Vegeta even! 

Bulma blinked behind her sunglasses.  _This_ is what he had interrupted her for?  _This_ meaningless pile of excuses and yet even more proof of his un-masculineness?  She sighed, and looked at the ground, thinking.

Of course she had been pissed when she caught him with Veronica, but after getting over the initial shock, life went on normally – no, better than normal, because without someone to ebb her sexual drives (which were what Yamcha had been for), all her attention had turned to the only other male in her proximity that was available: Vegeta.

And Kami, had she been blind before then.  Sure she'd invited him thinking he was hot, but she had never planned on pursuing it _this_ far…spying on the alien, no near-_naked_ alien…yet how far was too far? 

Bulma glanced over her shoulder at the machine, and through the window. 

_Damn, he's done with his push-ups…_  

Crossing her arms, she decided.  If Vegeta was all she could think about at a time when Yamcha was ditching her, this had to be a sign.  She wouldn't rest until she had that Prince in her bed.  Clearing her throat, she looked up, preparing herself for the best acting anyone on this green earth had ever seen.  Willing tears to her eyes, she began.

Yamcha stood there, dumbfounded as Bulma burst into tears and ripped her sunglasses off, laying them -gently- on the lawn chair beside her and dropping her towel.  His eyes traveled up and down her body (he had to admit, she was way better looking than all his other side-winder flings…) before returning to her face, and he barely stopped himself from jumping back.  Her eyes were wet and glistening with tears, and her face looked like she had just run over her own cat or something…

"Y-Yamcha!  You can't keep doing this to me!"  She walked slowly up to him, shoulders drooping, and grabbed his arms, pulling his face close to hers.  "I fucking love you, and you keep leaving me at home, wasting away."  She jumped back and stood in the most provocative pose she could muster and still look believable.  "If this," she said, motioning towards her body, "wasn't enough, you know I would've gotten surgery, or…or something!"  She sounded utterly confused and broken!  Yamcha gulped.  "But now you're leaving me…and it's the last time."  She molded her eyes into a mix of azure hatred clouded with sapphire pain, and all the time overflowing with salty crystalline tears.

_Damn I'm good…_she thought.

"B-Bulma!  Baby, I still wanna be with you!"  Yamcha spurted out, a sweat drop forming.  How in the hell did she manage to give him a hard-on as she bared her soul to him?  She sure as shit didn't need any of that surgery she mentioned…he thought she had lost her mind.  And over him too…poor thing.  He was starting to feel guilty.

"No!  You'll just break my heart again and say those same words the next time!  I know you now…"  She heard the door to the Gravity Chamber open, and footsteps come outside.  _Perfect…_she thought, grinning inside of her head.  "…I just can't let you hurt me anymore…don't come back again…please…"  Her head was lowered and her voice was so soft Yamcha could barely hear her.

But Vegeta could.  Looking in their direction, he scowled.  _Stupid humans…_he thought, wiping sweat away with a towel, _always putting so much into their emotions.  Idiots, all of them._  Unfortunately, the blubbering woman and her dickless human mate were right in his path to the door to get inside the Compound.  And he'd much rather not have to walk nearer to them than necessary.  True, he could fly, but that would admit his phobia of all things emotional and that would be like admitting a weakness.  So he slowly began walking to the door, hoping that if he made no sudden movements, they wouldn't even notice him.

Bulma never looked up.  But her hands were fisted at their sides and Yamcha could see salty tears falling to the ground.

"It's over, Yamcha.  Don't come back…please.  I…I don't want to be hurt again.  I love you too much.  Th-this has _got_ to stop."  _Dramatic pause…and finish it!_  "I can't take it anymore…"

Yamcha looked from her to Vegeta and back again.  _Damn, he had to see her dump me.  Dude, this isn't cool.  _He never knew Bulma liked him so much!  And he had wasted it away.  She'd never been quiet like this before…sometimes she would throw things, but this calmness?  It scared him worse than her tantrums.  He shook his head and mumbled and 'I'm sorry' before shooting off into the air.

Vegeta made it to the couple just as Yamcha flew off, and was continuing by the woman when she whispered to him, her face still parallel with the ground so he couldn't even see it.

"Vegeta!"

He stopped.  If she wanted a hug or some shit like that, Kami help her, because she sure as hell wasn't getting one from _him_!

"What do you want now, you blasted woman?" he inquired gruffly.

"Is he gone?"  She still hadn't looked up from the ground.

"Yes, I suppose he is.  Good riddance.  Hopefully he won't be back."  He grinned.  Usually she'd get all pissy about him insulting her mate, but this time she was silent.  Hmph.  He started to turn back to the house when she looked up, a huge grin on her face.  He blinked.

Wiping her tears with the back of her hands, she threw her towel over her shoulder and popped her sunglasses back on, grabbing her book at the last minute.  Vegeta was still standing there, staring at her.  

"Woman-"

"Vegeta, don't worry about it-"

"Fat chance of that, I was going to-"

"Listen."  She interrupted him again.  "This time, I used my head, as you so often remind me to do," he smirked, "and I thought it through.  Every time I dump him, I'm screaming and yelling and throwing things, and then I'm hitting him.  And it never worked.  He always came back with that little puppy-dog face and I forgave him, like an idiot.  So I decided to act broken, and when he got so guilty he couldn't stand it, I knew he'd leave.  He's too spineless to handle a crying woman.  Now all I have to do is break down in to tears whenever I see him, and he should stay away."  She paused thoughtfully.  "He never was really good for comforting someone—"

"That's _quite _enough information for me."

With that, Vegeta continued toward the house, not looking back.  Bulma pressed the zoom feature on her glasses, and watched his tight ass all the way.

_If only you knew, Princy.  If only you knew._

With a malicious grin on her face, she followed him.  No reason to be outside anymore, since Vegeta was inside, and she had some planning to do anyways.  Bagging a Prince, especially _this_ Prince, was going to be hard work.

Author's Notes:  So, lemme hear how you like it/hate it/whatever it and that may determine on how fast I update the next chapters.  I mean, if you all hate it, I may just take my sweet time so I can update for the hell of finishing it, and if you like it, well that gives us author's an incentive.  ^_^  So review please!  Por favor!  Douzo!  Bitte!  *sign languages P-L-E-A-S-E*   


	2. Flashes of Red

Author's Notes:  Well everyone!  ^_^  You seem to like Bulma as a sex-goddess, even though it's kinda OOC…hope you all can forgive me.  But it IS fun to write.  Enjoy!! 

Chapter 2 – Flashes of Red

Turning off the alarm clock quickly, Bulma tiredly got out of bed.  __

_How is it he sleeps so little?_  She asked herself as she made her way groggily to the window.  Stepping out onto the balcony, she waited exactly five minutes until a door to her left opened, Vegeta stepping through.  

Same time every damn day… 

She squinted in the dark, watching as he flew down to the ground and made his way to the Gravity Chamber, arms crossed, back pencil-rod straight, nose slightly in the air.  A lazy smile made its way to her face as she delightfully discovered he was wearing another pair of tight, form-fitting spandex shorts.  

Damn he's got a great body…she thought, sighing out loud. 

Vegeta stopped.

Bulma held her breath.  _Did he hear me _sigh?!  She thought nervously.  _I'll never live it down if he catches me staring at him!_  Before she could think it through any longer, she jumped down on the balcony floor, lying flat on her back facing the stars, her eyes clenched tightly shut.

Vegeta turned around.  That damn woman was out on her balcony _again_?  How could a human desire to observe the stars this early _every _morning?  He knew humans needed more rest than Saiyans, but he didn't know why the weak female gave up her "beauty sleep" every day just to watch the sky…

Perhaps he should inquire.  Glancing briefly up to the balcony, he wondered why she was lying down on the cold concrete floor...what a freaky female.  

Scowling, he floated into the air.  Now that he thought about it, every night he came in from training, she was in the kitchen, trying to stay awake with a cup of that disgustingly bitter black soup stuff.

Frowning, he levitated silently over to the balcony, only growing more confused when he saw her shutting her eyes as if her life depended on it.

"Woman!" he growled, amused when she visibly jumped.  "What the hell are you doing out here?"  He knew for sure she couldn't see any stars with her eyes closed, and her eyes were definitely clenched shut.

Please go away, pretend he's not here… 

"Was your bed too soft for your weakling hide?" he sneered, landing silently beside her.  He saw her frown, and her eyes opened, reflecting the shining stars in the sky as they snapped angrily.  Of course he noticed the detail – he _had_ grown up on Frieza's ship, damn it, and one learned to memorize every little facet of information that might be vital to him later on.  But the fire burning in her eyes didn't affect him in the least.

"For your information, _Vegeta_," she snapped, sitting up and crossing her arms under her breasts, unknowingly enhancing them as they gained extra support.  Another aspect Vegeta didn't miss, though he only filtered it to the back of his brain and threw it away with all the other useless stuff he wouldn't need later.  

"I was –" she paused, frowning slightly.  _Damn it, what can I say?!_

He raised an eyebrow.

"You were?" he inquired with a smirk.

She wouldn't look at him, only sitting there on the floor of the balcony, hunched over and fuming.

"I was, um, stargazing…" she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear her.

"With your eyes closed?" He asked haughtily.  "My, aren't we talented?"  He turned around to leave the weird human to her "stargazing". 

_Damn Saiyan hearing…_Her eyes widened as she remembered her earlier question.

"Vegeta?" she asked, stopping the Saiyan before he jumped off the balcony to begin training.

"What?" he growled, one foot on the railing.  

"Why don't Saiyans need as much sleep as humans?"  She turned to him, standing up and looking at him eagerly.   

He looked over his shoulder at her, eyes wide.  _Wasn't she just pissed at me?_  He mentally shook his head.  Females were such an enigma…

"Why the hell would you want to know that?" he questioned, turning around to face her, crossing his arms again.

Bulma quickly saw a way to un-embarrass herself.  She was a genius for a reason-she had to be able to see her way out of sticky situations swiftly, though she admitted lying flat on the balcony and wishing him away earlier this morning wasn't very genius-like…

She hmphed, crossing her arms and mimicking his pose.  Sticking her nose in the air, she turned her head to the side, letting him view her perfect profile.

"If you've already forgotten, Vegeta, I _am_ a scientist.  When I want to know something, I observe."  She fastened a smirk on him.  "I noticed soon after you moved in here that you obviously didn't sleep like us humans.  So I began my _observation_ with _you_, since you _are_ the only Saiyan in the proximity of my home."

"You've been observing me?!"  He growled, uncrossing his arms and stepping towards her, his charcoal eyes flashing angrily.

_Uh-oh…didn't see that one coming._  Bulma thought hastily how to calm the Prince's temper.

"Only to record what times you go to sleep and get up in the morning, you block head."  She said quickly, uncrossing her arms and clenching her fists.  "And I am _not_ invading your privacy, for your information, mister."

"And what, exactly, have you deduced about my sleeping habits?"  He asked slowly, reining his irritation in, though she could see a vein on his forehead.     

She opened her mouth and then shut it again.  _Damn it, the only thing I've 'deduced' is the fact that I need to buy more size "small" spandex shorts for him to wear…what to say, what to say?_  She looked uneasily away from his gaze and that oh-so-sexy smirk.  

Vegeta was beginning to get an inkling of a little white lie here…

"Just what,exactly,_ have_ you been observing, woman?"  He walked closer to her, almost surprised when she didn't back away and only stood there, staring into his eyes.  Of course his face only showed what he wanted her to know.  He would never let her know it was possible for him to be surprised by her bravery.  

That was another thing about growing up with Frieza – he had learned to completely control his body language.  No twitching of a brow, widening of the eyes, or dropping of the jaw unless he allowed it, though sometimes, when caught well off guard, he _might _drop his well-erected mask.  Maybe.  

_I wonder how long the woman can keep from running? _ 

Smirking evilly, he walked until he was a hair away from her, and smirked again when a tremor ran through her.  

_Finally…_he thought, _a decent display of fear._

"That you usually get in the bed at midnight and are up by three in the morning, apparently refreshed with only three hours of sleep."  Her breath caught for a second as he moved his face in, their noses millimeters apart and his warm breath encasing her skin.  

_Kami…you're pushing it_.  She warned, restraining her traitorous breathing.  His proximity was making her skin heat up...

Mentally pouring a bucket of cold water on herself, she continued.

"Though there are periods when you never even come out of the Chamber, staying locked in there for almost week-long intervals of non-stop training…" her voice trailed off as his eyes locked onto hers.  She tried to read them, wanting to know what he was thinking…

_Look, she's practically breathless with fear!_  He laughed in his head – this was exhilarating!  He hadn't been able to kill or hurt anything for almost a year, and the only reprieve for his undersupplied bloodlust was yelling at these idiot humans and the occasional hunting, though they still disapproved.  Apparently they were opposed to destroying random life forms; so he had to keep his anger in check…something he'd never had to do before.  But scaring them?  That he could get away with.

Bulma was indeed breathless, though from different reasons than Vegeta suspected.  She slightly shivered as a morning breeze flapped the ends of her short nightie higher on her hips, and moved to cross her arms under her chest, accidentally brushing against Vegeta's _bare_ torso in the process.

Vegeta arched an eyebrow as the woman blushed feverishly.  Suddenly he caught a scent in the air.  He hadn't noticed it before, but the breeze lifted it up to his powerful nose.  Sniffing again, his eyes opened wide in shock.  

_That's not fear she's experiencing…_

Bulma gulped as his eyes grew.  He dropped his mask and looked surprised for once in his life.  It was the first time she had seen of him displaying something other than anger or his other favorite, rage..

_Hmm…hope he can't see me blushing..._  She thought awkwardly.  

Vegeta took a step back, breaking the contact of her arms and his chest.  He eyed her warily, before crossing his arms once again and keeping his distance.

_So the little earthling finds me attractive?_  That was not what he had been expecting, especially from _this_ earthling, who had only broken up with her "boyfriend" – _idiotic title, if I say so myself – _the day before!

Confused with this new turn of events, Vegeta looked back up at her.  She was watching him, still blushing.  He could see her perfectly well in the dark, though she didn't know that.

_Why would she be attracted to me?_  He pondered, lifting a hand to his chin.  _She knows of my past, the people I've killed, my intent of killing her "best friend" and destroying her planet, after wishing for immortality and achieving Super Saiyan…_He just shook his head, annoyed by the fact he couldn't figure her out.

_Bah, it's just lust.  She'd have to come to me and admit it before I ever believed it.  _He paused, remembering Yamcha.  _But why would she be lusting after another male so soon after having one?_  

"Well?" her irate tone interrupted his thoughts.

"Well what?" he growled, once again regarding her from his spot a good three feet away from her.

_What was _that_ about?_  Bulma asked herself, angry.  He just jumped back from her like she was diseased!  _Hmph…calm yourself, girl._  

"What do you mean 'well what'?  Explain the sleeping habits of Saiyans to me, unless you like being observed like a guinea pig every day."  She stared at him, unrelenting.  _If he refuses to answer my question, I'll have an excuse to continue, "observing" him, for scientific reasons purely, I'm sure, and not feel guilty about it…not that I felt guilty before…_

_Guinea pig?  What the hell's a guinea pig?_  He wondered for a split second if it was edible before her other statement registered.

"No I do not want to be observed!"  He snapped, stepping away from her again.  _The last thing she needs is an excuse to invade my privacy in the future…_

"Then answer me!"  She growled, annoyed at their distance.  He kept backing up, as if she was going to bite him or something!

He didn't like being manipulated like this, but he liked less being ogled by some male-hungry female…

"Fine.  Sit down and shut up.  One word out of you and I'm gone."  He sat on the rail behind them and watched as she took a seat on the ground, Indian-style, seeming to forget the fact that her nightie was already short, and not seeming to notice the fact that she was flashing him a perfect view of her underwear…

He stared, mouth open, ready to begin talking, but nothing came out.  He vaguely noticed Bulma cock her head to the side, frowning perplexedly.

Appearing confused at his pause on the outside, Bulma was smirking on the inside and spread her legs some more, an apparently innocent move on her part, considering how _tired_ she was… 

_So he _isn't_ gay!  Thank you Kami!_  Ha!  She had finally gotten him to notice her, allaying her fears of his sexuality.  _Now he's game for sure._

Vegeta growled and slammed his jaw closed.  He took a breath and…

_What the hell was I going to say?_  Panic momentarily clouded his senses, as all he could see was the bright red flash of her undergarments.  _Red…_

Bulma sighed.  _Who'd've thought?  _Then she giggled.  _You know…animals are attracted to red colors…note to self: Saiyan's are more animalistic than humans…_    

"Saiyans' sleeping habits…?" she offered sweetly, smiling up at him.

_It's so fun messing with his head._

He scowled, making sure to keep his eyes a little to the left of her head and above her shoulder.

"Saiyans are more physiologically advanced than humans, so we need less time to rest our bodies."  She seemed attentive enough, leaning back on both her outstretched arms and smiling encouragingly up at him, her red panties glaring up at him.  __

_How can she not notice her position?!_  Flashes of red kept invading his secondary vision… 

"Also, there are more important things than sleeping to Saiyans, such as fighting, training, eating, matin-" he paused, coughed, and continued, in a much gruffer tone, "so we can hold off the need for slumber for up to weeks time.  After that, we hibernate for a short period of time, making up for the lack of sleep from before."  

Bulma was amazed.  Who knew?  _So they can force themselves to stay awake for weeks, and then hibernate?  Damn, I wish I could do that…_

Vegeta hoped she hadn't caught onto his blunder and was glad humans couldn't see in the dark.  A very uncharacteristic blush had crept onto his face.__

How could I have mentioned mating in front of a female preoccupied in finding a mate… 

"Does that satisfy you, woman?"  He growled, standing up.

Bulma shook her gaze from his rock-hard abs glowing in the moonlight and looked up at his face.  

"Sure thing, Veggie."  She hopped up, grinning like a cat.  

_Mating, huh?_  _So Saiyans could mate for weeks on end, literally.  Interesting..._

"Don't call me that!" He snapped, floating into the air.

"Oh?  And what do you want me to call you, _Veggie_?"  He was so easy to piss off, and so cute when he got mad…and he was mad _all _the time.  What was a girl to do?

"Hmph.  I _prefer_ Prince Vegeta, but Vegeta is acceptable.  I will not hesitate to teach you your place, woman, should you slip up again."  With that, he was gone.

Bulma leaned against the bedroom door on her balcony, yawning.  

"Sure thing _Prince Vegeta_, but I'm hitting the hay."  She entered her room and shut the door behind her, pondering what exactly he'd do to "put her in her place" should she ever "slip up again".

Falling sleepily on the bed, she remembered brushing against him accidentally.  He had been so warm in the chilly air, his muscles tensing slightly under the touch.  She took a deep breath, remembering his extremely masculine scent and smirking.

Chuckling softly, she recalled his look when she "accidentally" flashed him her underwear.

He doesn't even know how cute he looks when he's confused… 

Her eyes shot open.  What _had_ made him so confused?  After their physical contact, he had kept his distance and eyed her suspiciously the rest of the morning.  __

_Oh well…_she just knew that she wanted him even more after that session.

Vegeta meanwhile charged the Gravity Chamber, shaking his head.  

_The woman is crazy.  To think she has the right to be attracted to me, Prince of the Saiyans?_  He growled, stepping the gravity up to 400 G's.  _She has no right!  _The red flash of light that filled the room as the gravity kicked in reminded him of the color of her panties…

Shaking his head, he began his warm-up.  

_Blasted woman!_   

Author's Notes:  Welp, there you go people.  Hope you're still interested in the rest of the story.  If so, review!!  And no, I have not forgotten about "Cruel Fate?".  Promise.  I just needed to think a bit before I go about editing the story.  Hmm…oh well.  Review! ^_^


	3. Friendly Advice

Author's Notes:  Oky-doky, here's the next chapter.  Sorry I never update…yeah…

Chapter 3 – Friendly Advice

Bulma yawned and looked at the clock.  Ten.  Too bad humans weren't as "physiologically advanced" as Saiyans.  Think of all the work she could be doing in her lab if she didn't need as much sleep!  Think of all the inventions, plans, and blueprints; all the spying and scheming—

Speaking of spying and scheming…

She picked up the phone and dialed a memorized number.  Of course, she had a whole phone book of numbers committed to memory, but still.  It was nice not having to look up one of her oldest friend's numbers.

_"Hello, Son residence."_  The young voice came over the line.

"Hey kiddo, can I talk to your Mom?" Bulma asked, inspecting her nails.

_"Hey Bulma!  Sure thing."_ There was a pause, followed by _"MOOOOOOM!"_ and the passing of the phone.

"Hello?" Chi Chi spoke.  Why in the world would Bulma want to talk to her?

_"Hey Chi!  How's life?"_

Chi Chi frowned and looked behind her.  Dishes were piling up as her monster husband and kid ate enough food to give indigestion to an elephant.  

"Just peachy.  What do you want?" she snapped as she thought of the laundry to do and the bath water she would have to heat up tonight when the men (plus Piccolo) got back from training.

Bulma blinked.  Her friend seemed completely…stressed.

"Chi, I was thinking we should have a girls' day out.  You come to my house, and we'll do some sunbathing, facial masks, hair treatments, nail shaping, etc.  Talk about food, bathing suits, guys…you know.  Forget about all that work and have a day off.  I'm sure the house won't fall apart if you're gone for a day."

Chi Chi blinked, a hand unconsciously going to her hair.  

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't…but Goku just can't—"

"No buts about it, Chi.  I'll come over and help out with the chores and then I'll take you back with me, OK?  We'll get it done in no time."

Chi Chi genuinely smiled for the first time in a long time since Goku had come home from Yardrat.  

"Thanks Bulma!  That would be great."

"No prob, be there in a sec."

Bulma hung up the phone and put on some cheapo cotton shorts and a tank top.  She didn't even brush her hair as she threw it above her head in a messy ponytail.  Slipping on sandals, grabbed her purse, and walked on light feet to her car.  

_I'll warm her up with some alcohol and have some Saiyan bed-secrets in no time!  Bulma, you are positively downright _evil… She shrugged and pulled her "sunglasses" out of her purse as she reached her car. Taking a little spy into the GR, she sighed dreamily.  He was facing her, hanging upside down from the bar across the roof and doing sitting ups with his arms behind his head.  _Wow…_

Just as he straightened back out slowly, his face became completely level with the window.  His eyes opened wide as he saw her staring at the GR, and then he scowled horrendously and began working even faster.

"Well gee _whiz_!"  Bulma frowned and hopped in her car.  "That little jerk.  What's his problem?"

Chi Chi was sitting on the steps outside her home.  She had taken off her purple dress and was just in her baggy pink pants and a white tank top.  It was too hot to wear layers…

Why in the world was Bulma being so generous now?  She herself had always been jealous of the beautiful, rich, annoying woman.  They had never been _best _of friends…but they'd never hated each other.  This was just so unexpected!

She watched the latest Capsule model car pulled up and stood up from the steps, smiling.  Bulma hopped out.  The blue-haired model look-alike was frowning, but she grinned when she saw Chi Chi.  

"Hey Chi!  Let's get to work, I brought some help."

Chi Chi blinked as little robots began popping out of the capsules Bulma was throwing down at her feet.

"These two only clean dishes, these two wash laundry, this one folds it…" she continued listing their jobs as they lined up.  

"Wow Bulma…these are great!" Chi Chi patted one on the head.  If she could afford stuff like this…

"You can have 'em if you want.  We have our own set." Bulma walked past the stunned woman and into the doorway before turning around.  "Well?  We have to show them where to start cleaning, c'mon!"

Another hour and the Son house was spotless.  Bulma was on the couch panting. 

"Damn Chi Chi, how the heck do you do this every day?!"

Chi Chi grinned from her place lounging on the recliner.  She would never admit that without the help of Bulma's machines, this work load would've taken her all day long.

"You get used to it." She stood up, excited.  "Let's go to your house before the boys get back.  They can get lunch for themselves today."

Bulma grinned and they both hurried to her car.

Vegeta frowned as he stepped out of the house with his lunch on a tray.  He thought he could avoid the woman today, but here she was already pulling back up to the house.  He paused as he heard two feminine voices, both giggling, and then two car doors slam shut.  He growled and headed back to the GR.  He'd eat his lunch away from anyone else, thank you.

"He didn't!" Bulma said, giving her friend a look that clearly said 'I don't believe you'.

Chi Chi crossed her arms and frowned.

"You don't have to believe me if you don't want to, but Goku just went about doing everything he normally does.  Except with no clothes of course.  It's like he hadn't even _realized_ they were being washed…"

Bulma shook her head, grinning.

Vegeta had paused midstep, and slowly, ever so slowly, his head turned toward both of the girls.  There was a disgusted look on his face.

Chi Chi stopped walking all together and glared at him, frowning.  Bulma paused too, laughing at the look on Vegeta's face.

"Chi, let's go.  I'm sure Vegeta wants to hear more naked Goku stories before he eats lunch, right?" 

Vegeta shuddered and continued toward the simulator, if not a little faster.

A few hours later both women were wrapped in towels on their stomachs getting a massage by professional masseuses.  There were green facemasks on their faces and their hair was wrapped in steaming towels after being deeply conditioned and trimmed.  Chi Chi sighed.

"Bulma, this is great.  We should do this more often."

Bulma just kind of grunted, enjoying the hands running along her back.  She pictured Vegeta at the other end of those arms, his strong hands kneading her muscles and slipping gently around the curve of her shoulders—and snorted with laughter.

Chi Chi's eyebrow rose.

"Something funny?"

Bulma opened her eyes and grinned at her friend.

"I was just picturing Vegeta trying to give a massage.  It made me laugh, is all."

Chi Chi frowned.

"Why do you let that horrible man in your house?  I mean, after he killed your boyfriend, _almost_ killed my son, tried to blow up the planet…I just don't get it."  Chi Chi was watching her friend's face.

Bulma sighed and laid her chin on her arms.

"Everyone's asked me that," she laughed, "_except_ for my parents.  They know the risk too.  But my Mother actually adores him, and my Dad told me he liked the…how did he put it?  'Motivation' Vegeta provides him to get his work done."  

Chi Chi snorted.

"Yeah, if you count having your life threatened motivation…"

Bulma smiled and looked at her friend.  "And he's really not that bad.  I mean, first sign that he's still evil and he is SO kicked out, don't get me wrong—"

"Just stop talking.  I'll never get it." Chi Chi waved her friend quiet.  "Anyway, how are you and Yamcha doing?"

Bulma frowned at the mentioning of her ex's name.  

"We're just fine." She lied.  She wouldn't get anything out of Chi if her friend thought she didn't have a reason for it.

"That's good, but I still think you could do so much better."

This made Bulma pause.

"Y-you do?" she asked, setting wide eyes on her friend.  Chi Chi's eyes were closed and her arms were crossed under her chin.

"Of course, I mean, it's Yamcha.  We all know he's not faithful, and he's not exactly Prince Charming.  He's clumsy and he doesn't know how to act at social events.  You need someone who…" she paused, thinking, "…who can act respectable.  I mean, you go to all those Capsule Corps. parties…do you really drag Yamcha around to _all_ of those?" Chi Chi sent questioning eyes to her friend.  "I wouldn't take that man out in public.  Even my _Goku_ can behave when he needs to."

Bulma blinked and stared at the other woman in surprise.  Since when did Chi Chi get so perceptive?!

The black-haired woman sighed.

"Don't look at me like that!  I'm not an idiot you know.  Just because I sit at home and spend all my time being a wife and a mother doesn't mean I don't think about you guys."  Chi Chi was staring straight ahead now.  Bulma felt a twinge of guilt.

"I…Chi, I don't think you're an idiot.  It's just that…wow, I never knew you thought about us."  Bulma paused, feeling really bad now.  "I bet it gets really lonely with just Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo for company."  _God I'm a bitch!  Why don't I think about these things earlier?!_  "From now on, we're doing this at least once a month, OK?"

Chi Chi's eyes shot to Bulma's.  Then she shook her head.

"You don't have to do this out of guilt you know.  I've lived like that for a while.  It's almost routine—"

"Hell no!  This isn't out of guilt; I've had a good time today.  And that's final."  Bulma already felt better.

Chi Chi smiled.  Bulma had never really struck her as the…charitable type.  Oh well, not that she minded the company!  Or the luxury…  

"Bulma, I think I'm moving in with you, OK?"

Bulma just nodded from her spot in the Jacuzzi.  The settings had the water hot and the jets at "Tenderize".  It was like heaven.

Bulma had on a more respectable bikini than the day before and she had let Chi Chi borrow a black one.  It had surprised Bulma at first, but the younger woman had quite a figure, even after having a kid.  She wondered why she always hid it behind baggy clothes?  

It had been funny seeing her friend's face when she stepped out of her bathroom after putting on the bikini.  Chi Chi had definitely been disappointed when Bulma informed her she didn't _have_ any one-piece suits to wear…

"Whatever…" the heat and the chlorine were getting to both of them, not to mention the glasses of wine that had been refilled at least four times.  As Bulma went for her fifth, she remembered her plan. 

"Chi?"

"Hmm?"

No better way than to dive in… 

"How's your sex life?"

Chi Chi looked up.  Her head had been reclining against the side of the hot tub, but now she regarded Bulma with wary eyes.  The blue-haired woman blinked.  _Damn, maybe she's not drunk yet…_

Then Chi Chi shrugged. 

"Even though I don't think it's something to be discussed outside of the bedroom…" she took a drink from her glass as a sly smile colored her lips, "…I wouldn't mind boasting now and then…"

Now Bulma was blinking.  

"B-boasting?  Chi, are you saying…"

"That Goku knows how to please a woman?" The smirk was ever-present as she laid her head back down on the tub.  "Does a Saiyan like food?"  She added rhetorically.

"Wow…I never even…wow."  Was all Bulma could say.

"Yeah, I bet no one's thought of Goku like that, thank God, and I can see why.  He's such a…a child all the time.  In fact, in the bed…well, that's the only time he's not."  She was staring at her near-empty glass of wine thoughtfully.  "He scared me on our honeymoon.  He didn't even know what sex was.  I mean, he had an inkling from Roshi's magazines," her nose wrinkled, "but that was it."

Bulma was interested now.

"So…what did you do?  I mean, how do you tell Son Goku about the birds and the bees?"

Chi Chi was blushing now, and it wasn't because of the wine.  

"I…I kissed him, and…and _initiated _it, but after a few minutes, he got this…this smoky look in his eyes and he was just…" she sighed, "…just _wonderful_.  It was like he had been born for the sole purpose of procreating or something."  She paused, an absent look in her orbs.  "It was like he was possessed by this amazing sex demon and I just-"  She paused, a blush coloring her whole face as she lifted her wine glass and took a deep gulp. 

Bulma was smirking.  She was forming a hypothesis, and so far, she liked the stipulations.  If Son Goku, the air-brained kid that he was, knew how to make Chi blush like this?  Think of the possibilities _Vegeta_ could accomplish!!

"Chi, you don't have to be ashamed.  I think that's great!  I was worried that you weren't ever fulfilled…in _that_ area…because Goku's how he is, you know?"  

That haze of a smirk was still on her friend's face, and her eyes were far away, as if reminiscing over past experiences in the bedroom with her husband.  She looked up at Bulma sternly.

"But I know it was much more appealing because we were _married_, you know.  I don't see how anyone could want to do that stuff with someone who's not your spouse."

Bulma knew she was secretly admonishing her.  She shrugged it off.

"Well, Yamcha was never that good anyway…"

Chi Chi was now the one paying attention. 

"…he was always scared of girls, remember?"

Chi Chi nodded, refilling her glass again, and missing a bit.  The sun was just now setting and the lights automatically lit up in the Jacuzzi.  

Bulma sighed.

"We were both each other's first, so I guess that's why we're still somewhat attached…but he was as clumsy in bed as he was out of it."

Chi Chi was grinning now.

"You mean…" she began, leaning forward, "I was getting the pleasure of my life and the whole time _you_ were laying in bed, pretending to be pleased for him?"  With that she burst out laughing.  "It's kind of…kind of _ironic_, don't you think?!"

Bulma frowned and crossed her arms.

"Well you _don't have to rub it in, you know."  Her eyes wandered over to the GR, which was still being used.  Vegeta wouldn't come out until at least midnight, unless he was going on one of those 'must train 'til I drop' things.  "Besides, I took your advice to heart today…maybe I'll look for someone else to _please_ me…"_

Chi Chi followed her friend's eyes to the gravity simulator and frowned.

"Stop thinking what you're thinking Bulma." She watched the water swirl over her body as Bulma's attention shot back to her friend.  "It's impossible.  Just because he's good looking doesn't mean anything will work out."

Bulma blinked again.  Chi Chi was surprising the hell out of her today.

"Chi, but just think…what you told me about Goku…I think that's a _Saiyan_ thing!  You know, pleasing a woman?  Don't _I_ deserve some of that too?"

Chi Chi stopped her glass halfway to her lips.  She regarded Bulma thoughtfully.

"_If_ all you want is pleasing.  That man may be able to help you out physically, but emotionally?  He's dead Bulma.  You'll only get hurt."

Bulma was leaning over the side of the tub, chin in her hands as she watched the lights flicker from Vegeta's workout. 

"Yeah…but if I go into it expecting nothing but physical pleasure…wouldn't that be _great?"_

Chi Chi rubbed her temples.

"I suppose…but if he hurts you, I don't want to hear a word of it!"

Bulma turned to Chi Chi and grinned, moving her fingers in a cross gesture over her heart.

"Promise.  I will not come to you when Vegeta breaks my heart." She laughed.  "Yeeah right."

Chi Chi swam over and watched the GR with her.

"But then again…Vegeta would probably be perfect for your sexual needs…"

Bulma almost jumped. 

"Chi Chi!"

Her friend shrugged.

"Maybe it's the alcohol talking, but that man has a great ass."

Bulma giggled and looked back at the GR.  Who would've thought that Chi Chi of all people?!

"If you're going to go for it," the black-haired woman continued, "I say go for it all the way.  What if you _could capture the heart of the Prince of Saiyans, B?  I mean, can you imagine Vegeta, following you around, leaving you roses, cooking you breakfast, doing the laundry…?"  Chi Chi was off in her own little fantasies of the perfect husband._

"You forgot who you're talking about Chi…" Bulma's eyes softened.  "I don't think he has a heart."  Then she smirked.  "But I'm not greedy…I'll take a ride in the hay _any_ day!"

Chi Chi giggled and turned around, sitting and sighing.  Bulma joined her.

"That's something I want to ask you Chi…what…what would you do to get a Saiyan's attention?"

Chi Chi looked at her friend, raising an eyebrow.  She crossed her arms.

"You lied to me about Yamcha earlier today."

"Damn, how'd you know?" Bulma could tell the best of lies.  Her acting abilities had come in handy yesterday when she dumped Yamcha…

"I'm a mother.  Lies become transparent."  Chi Chi grinned.  "Now, you want to know how to get a Saiyan's attention?  Easy…"

Bulma scooted closer in order to hear.

"…the way to a Saiyan's heart…"

"Yes?" Bulma begged.

"…is through his _stomach_."

Author's Notes:  Uh-oh…Bulma cooking?  In order to _impress_ someone?!  Ouch!  Poor Vegeta.  ^_^  Leave a review!


	4. The Plan

Author's Notes:  *readers appear in an old cemetery, with tombstones all around…they approach the first they come to cautiously…it reads: "The Flying Pen, a Dirty, Rotten, Tardy Jerk…"  They laugh, remembering this author and knowing how true those words are…UNTIL A FIST ERUPTS FROM THE SWAMPY DIRT clutching papers…

Chapter 4 – The Plan

Bulma yawned and got up stretching, immediately wincing and shutting her eyes. 

Too much alcohol… 

She _carefully_ stood up and made her way to the shower.  She needed a clear head before she went and began the first operation of her mission: Saiyan Prince.  A shadow of a smirk lit her features as she stepped in the cold water.  

_Nothing to clear your head like icy cold water in the AM…_

Vegeta heard a scream as he scourged the fridge for leftovers from last night's meal.  

_The woman…?_  

He spared a glance behind him before shrugging his shoulders.  Hefting the load out of the refrigerator, he shut the door with his foot and dropped it all on the table.  

Bulma bounced into the kitchen wearing a tiny silk robe, smiling through blue lips and shivering as if she had just been out in a freezing rain.  Her wet hair matted against her face and neck, and he could tell she hadn't even dried thoroughly from the spots where her robe darkened and clung to her body like a second skin, his eyes lingering over her hardened—

He swallowed his mouthful of food in one huge gulp, quickly averting his eyes to his plate and frowning.  

_Damn woman…other people live here as well.  She should put some _clothes_ on before prancing around like a little tramp…_

Bulma hummed through chattering teeth as she grabbed a bagel and threw it on her plate, sliding in her socks over the linoleum to a chair at the table.  She grinned and sat down across from Vegeta, watching him as she nibbled on her bagel.

He felt her eyes on him and suppressed a tremor of anger from taking him.

"Are you doing a scientific study on a Saiyans' _eating_ habits as well, woman?" he growled, slamming his hands on the table on each of the sides of his plate and glaring at her.

Bulma blinked.  

Damn, what got his shorts in a wad? 

"Well, only if you want me to, _Prince Vegeta…_"

His lip curled angrily.  Now she was mocking him.

"Calm down, monkey boy."  She turned her attention to her bagel.  "I was just trying to think of things to cook tonight.  Mom and Dad are outta town, so it's just me and you—"

"Damn it, you had better use that telephone and call someone to bring it over.  I will not give up the chance to fight the androids just because _your_ food killed me…" he said in between shoving his breakfast in his mouth.

"That hurt Vegeta.  Really."  Rolling her eyes, she continued.  "Anyway, I was thinking something light, but then the whole _Saiyan _factor comes in.  I don't know, I'll have to plan this out."

He snorted and ignored her, never even looking in her direction.

She frowned and stood up angrily, and stomping over to the fridge, she began to examine its' contents, talking to herself and nodding her head from time to time.  She grabbed a pen and notepad, scribbling things to buy.

Vegeta finished his last bite, downed his glass of orange juice, and disappeared to go train.

Bulma smirked.

"Poor little Vegeta…" she said mischievously.  "He's not even aware of the power I hold over the food he eats."  If anyone had been witness to the evil glint in her eyes, they probably would have started crying.

Unfortunately, her mother was oblivious to the world around her.

"Good morning dear!!" the older woman said as she appeared in the kitchen, looking all the ray of sunshine that she was.  

"It is, isn't it?" Bulma grinned.

"Well, yes it is."  Her mother mechanically grabbed a bowl of berries and began munching on them before heading back upstairs to her room.  Bulma shook her head.  _I'll never understand her._

That's when she remembered.  She had told Vegeta that her parents were supposed to be out of town this weekend!!  And they weren't!  How in the world was she supposed to have loud crazy sex with Vegeta if her _parents_ were in the same house as them?!

Thinking quickly, she ran to her room in order to use her private phone line.  If her father ever found out about this…she didn't want to think about it.

"Hello, Macmillan Industries, how may we help you?" 

"Yes, I need to speak to Jon Macmillan, please."

"I'm afraid Mr. Macmillan is busy at this moment; I can take a message—" 

"Tell him Bulma Briefs needs to speak to him."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone and Bulma smirked. 

_"Right away Ms. Briefs."_

Holding the cordless phone with one hand, she walked to her closet to try to pick out something to wear.  It had to be sexy, most definitely.  Something that brought attention to her assets, so cleavage was a must.  She paused and smiled.

"Damn I'm a whore!" she exclaimed to herself, pulling out a dress.

_"Well, why didn't you say so earlier? We could've skipped this whole phone call and met somewhere tonight."_

"Jonathon!"  Bulma smiled.  They may be competing companies, but Jon Macmillan was one of the few who didn't turn to dirty, _illegal_ habits when dealing with Capsule Corps.  "I need a favor."

_"What is it, sweet cheeks?"_

"I need you to call an emergency meeting with my father _today_."  She crossed her fingers as another pause came to her from the phone.

Jonathon frowned.  He had plans with the _lovely_ Felicia tonight and did not want them to be ruined.  And he knew Dr. Briefs would only come all the way to his company headquarters in America if it were important.  And if it were important, _he _himself would have to head the meeting, not one of his underlings, therefore canceling his weekend plans.

"Bulma, babe, I'd love to but I just can't—"

_"Jonathon, I'll think about selling the blue-prints to the spaceship me and my father have been working on…"_

He paused.  If she was willing to give away company details, something must be up.

"Bulma?  Is something wrong?  Why do you want your dad out of town all of the sudden."

Now he got a pause.

_"Because…something's come up and I just need my parents out of my hair for a night-er, day or two."_

He grinned wickedly through the phone, and Bulma could hear it as loud as if he had been yelling.  She could just imagine his green eyes flickering malevolently as he rested his tan chin on his hand. 

"Something, eh?  Don't you mean some_one?_"

_"Jonathon!  Will you do it or not?!"_

He grinned.

"Sure, if you throw in the blueprints to that wonderful toaster-oven that cooks in half the time.  I've been hearing little rumors about that for a while now…"  Would she rise to the bait?

_"Done."_

"One more thing."  He leaned back in his chair, thinking that Bulma should get laid more often if this swapping of information was the result, and brushed a hand through his sandy blond hair.  Perhaps next she needed male ahem, services, he himself could offer his assistance…?  "What, pray tell, should this emergency meeting be about?"

Bulma thought.  And then she grinned.

"Ohhh, let's just say that I've heard rumors through the grapevine that a certain Zeneer Technology and a certain FTP Engineering have been considering a little alliance to stop the 'monopolization' of a certain Capsule Corps. and Macmillan Industries…"

Jonathon Macmillan sat straight up in his chair.

"Y-You're shitting me, right?"

_"Nope.  I'll send the e-mail I intercepted to you ASAP."  _

Jonathon gulped.

"You know Bulma, I would've agreed to meet your Dad without the spaceship or the toaster oven if you had just told me that…"

_"I know.  Let's just say you owe me one."_

Jonathon grinned, glad to have Capsule Corps. as an ally and not an enemy.  That Briefs girl was positively downright _evil_ sometimes…

"Deal.  Oh, and Bulma?"

_"Hmm?"_

"Use protection." He grinned evilly.  "We don't want an illegitimate heir to Capsule Corps. popping up within the next year.  That might accidentally make Macmillan Industries rise above CC—"

A second later all he could hear was dial tone.  He laughed and phoned his secretary to ask Felicia if he could reschedule.

Bulma shook her head and threw the phone on her bed.  

"Time to go shopping…"

Vegeta kicked his shadow, following through with a punch and flipping backwards out of the way.  Taking a deep breath, he let his arms rest by his sides and rolled his neck around, hearing the popping of tired joints.  And his stomach.

_Blasted organ…_

Turning off the gravity, he froze when a new sound was revealed after the humming of the simulator was gone.

_Is that…barking?!_

Opening the door, he was surprised to see Bulma holding onto two long chains, two massive dogs at the other end.  Both were barking and pulling at the chains excitedly.  That's when he noticed cars lined up in the driveway as well.  He growled.  She knew he hated people…and animals.

"Woman!"

She looked up as if just noticing his presence, though he couldn't see her eyes through her dark sunglasses.  She had on a tight red shirt and short, dark denim shorts on, with black sandals.  Her hair was messily piled on top of her head, a few strands falling in front of her frames.  She sacrificed one hand on the chains to push her frames back on her nose, holding the hand there and looking as if the dogs might pull her over any moment now.

Bulma zoomed in on the unknowing Prince's chest, watching the drops of sweat drip down the valleys of his muscles and pool in the material of the waistband on his shorts, creating darker splotches all around, but _especially _right above his—

"Yes, Vegeta?"

"What the hell is all this?" he motioned to the cars and the dogs, and then he crossed his arms.

_A mighty fine show, Princey-boy…_She watched his pecks and abs move around as he motioned, and then his biceps as they tensed when he crossed his arms.

"Well, I took your advice and decided not to cook—"

"Thank Kami…" he muttered, giving her a view of his profile.

"—and hired all these chefs from the city to come and cook a full-course meal, Earth style."  She smiled when he looked at her hungrily.  _If only that look was directed at my body… _"There'll be Italian, Chinese, Mexican…anything you want."

He frowned.  If this was some ploy to use on him because she was looking for a mate, it wouldn't work on him.  He did not need a mate to hound on him day and night.  He would eat the food and leave, _without_ saying thank you, of course.  

_Stupid woman…she doesn't know who she's messing with…_

_Silly Prince…you don't know _what_ you're in for…_

As she headed towards her labs with the dogs pulling her for the most part, he stopped her again.

"You never explained why you had the mutts."

She turned to look at him, glasses sliding down to the tip of her nose so she could regard him with those piercing blue eyes.

"The neighbors are out of town.  So I volunteered to watch Apollo and Zeus while they were gone."  The two pitch black Great Danes turned their cropped ears to her when she said their names.  She bent down and hugged both their huge heads at the same time.  "And they're good boys, yes they are!  They do exactly what I tell them, 'cause they love Aunty Bulma, don't they?"

Two barks were her answer, and she turned smugly to Vegeta, who had a revolted look on his face.

"Disgusting…"

Bulma stood up and continued to her labs before remembering.

"Oh, and Vegeta…"

He growled but stopped anyway, not bothering to turn around to look at her.

"Don't kill any of the chefs.  Don't get in their way.  And _don't_ ruin your supper with junk food because you feel a little hungry now."  Her voice was icy.

He shook his head and walked into the house.  The woman was already putting a leash on him, as if he was her mate or something!!  He'd have to put her in her place sometime.  Just not when she had those appalling, drooling animals with her.  Yuck.

Bulma grinned as she entered her labs, the door shutting behind her and locking.

"Sit." She commanded, pleased as both dogs immediately heeded her.  "If only Vegeta were as receptive."  She paused just to think about that, a naughty grin highlighting her features.  "The _possibilities_."

Chuckling, she walked to the chemical storage part of her lab, and quickly grabbed various things in order to pile them gently on the table in front of her.  

"I haven't used this formula in so long…" she mused, mixing powders together in a little bowl before crushing them with a stick in order to fully combine them.  The recipe came to her as easily as if she made it all her life, when really she hadn't used this particular formula since her college days.

She remembered her and her friends staying up late one night to perfect it, this little aphrodisiatic substance.  Chi Chi had said the way to a Saiyan's heart is through his stomach…but what if this Saiyan didn't have a heart?  She didn't mind listening to her shoulder devil for once and trading, in this case, his heart for one nice night in bed.  Or maybe two.  Who needed a heart when you could get a good fuck (or two) out of a man?

Completing her experiment, she got up and grabbed some empty pitri dishes, and then went to the refrigerator in her lab.  The only thing edible was a cold turkey sandwich.  She shrugged and ripped it into chunks before placing them on the dishes.  She left two of the four dishes normal and added her powder to the other two.  Then she turned to the dogs.

Now on humans, this dust was a colorless, odorless powder that dissolved instantly when it hit any type of liquid, whether it was a drink or food, and made its victim completely horny for about six hours.  What Bulma didn't know was if a certain Saiyan Prince would be able to detect it.  She figured his sense of smell and taste would be the ones to give her away.  So she had asked her neighbors if they minded her borrowing their dogs to go on a walk.

"Apollo."

The dog stood up and walked to her, curiously sniffing the air.  He could smell turkey.  He wanted turkey.  He turned to Bulma.

"Now Apollo, I want you to eat these."  She laid them on the floor and noticed he was already salivating.  _Hmm…reminds me of a Saiyan I know…_

Apollo didn't need coaxing.  He went right for the dish in front of him, which Bulma had made sure was a normal dish.  When he had finished that, he moved to the next, which was a tainted one.  

Sniffing first, he paused.  Then he sniffed the other two, and immediately chose the other untainted sandwich.

"Damn it!" she cursed as he walked away, completely sated while leaving the two sandwiches with the powder alone.  "Hmm…this just means I have more to do."

Vegeta sat at the kitchen table, back ramrod straight and eyes straight ahead.  _No sudden movements…they might leave you alone if you get lunch and get out of here…_

He was considering using his super speed to go to the fridge, grab the food, and disappear into the chamber, but there was someone in front of it every five seconds grabbing some kind of ingredient or putting something back up.  There had to be eight people in here, all wearing aprons and hats.  His eye was twitching. 

An old lady saw him and walked up to him while mixing something in a bowl. 

"Sonny, are you all havin' a party tonight or something?" she asked, stirring and stirring; she couldn't understand who would need so much food...  

Vegeta watched her old hand circle the bowl again…and again…and again…

"Sonny?"

He growled and stood up.  Stomping to the fridge, he pulled a drawer out of the bottom and set it under his arm, grabbing a carton of milk and slamming the door shut.  The cooks in the room stared wide-eyed as he disappeared with the entire drawer in his arms.

Vegeta sat on the couch and placed the drawer beside him, thanking Kami that Bulma always stockpiled this drawer with already-made food just in case they weren't available when he was hungry.  Picking out sandwiches, he quickly began emptying the drawer when he heard the door open.

Bulma walking in with a grin on her face that said 'I'm a genius, plain and simple'.  He glowered and stuffed another sandwich down his throat, eyebrows creasing together when he felt her weight join his on the couch.  She flipped on the TV and put her hands behind her head. 

"Mmm…Vegeta,"

He paused in his eating, but never looked at her.  That had sounded positively…sensual.  He bit into an apple, the sound reverberating in his ears, which were now only waiting for her to say his name like that again.

"Doesn't the food smell _delicious?_" She turned to him, smiling and giving him a lidded look through her eye lashes.  He swallowed.

"Only because you're not the one cooking it…" he muttered, before throwing the apple core back into the drawer.  He grabbed a Tupperware and opened it to find teriyaki chicken and rice.    

Bulma watched him eat, a smirk lighting her lips.  _Poor Vegeta.  I almost feel…guilty about this.  I mean, what kind of inner-turmoil will he go through when he realizes he's fucking a weakling human woman?_  She shrugged.  _Too bad.  It'll be revenge for all the times he's insulted me.  Ha ha ha, and what better revenge than to make him fool around with a "weakling woman" he despises?_

Laughing out right, she ignored the look Vegeta sent her and went on thinking of when she would give her little "spice" to the cooks to add it to their dinner.  

_Why would she laugh at my insult?  _He glared.  _Usually she screams, throws something even…I don't like this._  Shrugging, he kept eating, ignoring the woman and the TV to the best of his ability before she got up with a deep sigh.

"Well, I was just taking a break.  But I think I'll get some water."  She looked down at the Saiyan Prince, loving the fact that even though she couldn't stare at his abs because he was hunched over the drawer of food in his lap, she could still gaze at the wonderfully built muscles outlining his back.  Covered in that bronze skin, so perfectly smooth and—

Wait…

Not smooth.  Upon closer inspection, she noticed old scars all over his back, of all shapes and sizes, some thin and long, some jagged, as if his flesh had been completely torn and ripped—

He was looking at her.

Blushing, she turned to the TV, trying to hide the look on her face.  She knew it was one of curiosity…but she also knew that there would be a certain sympathetic tone in it.  And he would not like to see that.

Kami, she was acting weird tonight.  His eyebrows lowered even more in confusion as he continued spooning the teriyaki in his mouth.  She had just been staring at him, her face kind of…dazed.  And her hand was playing with something in her short's pocket.  He growled.  Why were his thoughts even occupying the woman?

His growl woke Bulma up out of her embarrassed stunned state and she turned and headed to the kitchen.  Upon entrance, an older woman was standing up from the oven and stretching her arms, grinning.

"Excuse me…" Bulma started, walking up to her.

"Wanna know what's on the menu for tonight?" the pudgy old woman turned to her, grinning.

Bulma smiled.  She put her arm around the short woman and led her away from the doorway.  This would suck if Vegeta heard what she was saying and she knew that Saiyans had better hearing than humans.  She made sure to whisper as well.

"No thank you, but I was wondering if you could add this to all the dishes…?"

She pulled a little saltshaker out of her pocket and held it tightly in her hand.  She had worked hard on this little puppy… 

The older woman looked confused.

"You want me to put _salt_ on _every one _of those dishes?!"  She backed up, a horrified look on her face.  "That would ruin about half of them, darling?"  She raised an eyebrow.  "Are you sure you know how to cook, dear?"

Bulma ground her teeth but laughed –a little too sweetly– anyway.

"No no no!  This isn't salt, ma'am!"  She waved a hand nonchalantly, and then looked around as if checking to see if anyone was listening to their conversation.  She bent low so she was eye to eye with the woman and spoke in hushed tones.

"Did you happen to see a short grumpy man come and get a drawer from the fridge?"

The older woman nodded, confused as to where this was going.  Bulma carried on.

"Well, you see, this is his _medicine_."  The woman was staring at her.  She knew she'd need a better explanation.  Sighing, she continued.  "I don't like to talk about it, but he has some…" –_pause for effect– _"…_anger management_ problems."  She concluded dramatically.  

The woman's eyes widened and they curiously shot to the doorway that led to the man she had just been speaking to.

Bulma squeezed her shoulders and schooled her face into a sympathetic look.

"He…doesn't like to admit it to anyone, poor thing…in fact, he thinks he's the sweetest guy you ever met, but he just can't help…_blowing _up at people unless he takes his medicine.  You understand, don't you?"  She sniffed once and looked up, blinking as if holding tears back.  _Damn Bulma…first Yamcha and now granny.  Sheesh. _ Oh well.  In light of what she was trying to pull off, a little white lie was barely worth her conscience… 

The older woman nodded, patting Bulma's hand compassionately. 

"Sweety, I know the feeling.  My husband didn't like to admit he had mood swings either.  I was constantly having to slip the Paxyl into his food myself."  She gave Bulma's arm a little squeeze and then grabbed the salt shaker with a wink.  Just as she was about to head back to the food, she paused.

"Oh, and deary?"

Bulma's evil grin turned back into her grateful relieved face as she turned back to the old woman.

"What will you be eating?  I'll leave this out of that dish so you don't accidentally take your husband's prescription—"

Bulma tried to make her smile look genuine.

"Oh, don't worry about me."  She waved a hand dismissively.  "I'm making my own supper.  If I know my," she coughed, "_husband_, then I know he'll want to taste all the wonderful dishes you all are cooking up."

The woman nodded and shuffled away, lost in the memories of her own past times.  

Bulma threw her arms up in a "SCORE!!" gesture and spun around.  

Vegeta almost dropped the empty drawer as he walked in on the woman dancing with her eyes closed in the middle of kitchen.  Luckily, he caught it in time and managed to gain his composure before she noticed him.  One of his brows lifted as a wicked grin appeared on her face as she strode past him.

"I was just talking to the chefs, _Prince Vegeta_."  

There was that throaty purr in her voice that immediately put him on guard…

"Dinner should be _delicious_."

Author's Notes:  Hey!! Good news!!!!!!  I'm not dead. *readers glare*  Erm. 


End file.
